Kappa Beta Serving the transgendered community since 1988

In March, Jennifer and I had the opportunity to visit a small class of seven individuals at UNCC. I found it unique inasmuch as these students are future professional counselors. It was an opportunity to give a bit of Gender 101 to the helping professionals of tomorrow.

One of the many topics we discussed coincides with Trish's excellent piece last month in which she shared how she found her own place in the gender spectrum. Specifically, each of us pointed out as they build their practice, they will likely counsel patients dealing with gender identity issues. Many of these patients will have a burning desire to become a woman/man, as the case may be. Most of them will desire to complete their transition in the shortest amount of time possible.

We often say to ourselves, "I wish I had known then, what I know now", or we ask ourselves why we let let so many years pass by before we did any number of things.....hormone therapy, transitioning, SRS or simply accepting ourselves for the unique individuals we were created to be. We may lament the fact we have such a short amount of time left in which to achieve our dreams.

From a different perspective, what if we think of "time left" as though it were a noun, a tangible object to which we relate each day.

I allude again to the events of 9/11. When those 3,000 lost people woke up that morning, they had their entire lives ahead of them. They were not to know their "time left" was to take on an entirely different meaning than they ever dreamed.

Margaret Stumpp has gained notoriety as a successful woman who transitoned while in her position of  Senior Vice President with Prudential Financial. In an interview, she said, "if 9/11 has taught us anything, it is that each day is precious and we owe it to ourselves to live it to the fullest."

Monday, November 20 is The Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day set aside to honor those in our community who have been the victim of violence. This day was begun in 1998 to commemorate the unsolved murder of Rita Hester of Boston, MA, who died of multiple stab wounds. There will be ceremonies in various cities around the world. She was not the first, nor will she likely be the last.

Rev. Ted Haggard, pastor of New Life Evangelical Church in Colorado Springs has long crusaded against gay rights. Earlier this month, Rev. Haggard was forced to resign his position after being accused of engaging in the very activity he fought against.

What do these two disparate stories have in common? Upon reflection, I found a number of things.

We often speak in terms of "giving back to the community." Have we really considered what that phrase means? What is it that we are we giving back?

Before a person can give back, she or he must have something to give. In order to have something to give, we must be at peace with ourselves, and so it goes with a support group.

It is impossible to gloss over the fact that Kappa Beta has been though a considerable amount of trauma these last couple months. This was not the first such time, nor will it likely be the last.

There is a book very simply titled Night, by Holocaust survivor, Elie Wiesel. He chronicles the horrors of a young teen whose family is suddenly snatched from their home, the family separated and moved from death camp to death camp.

It is the story of survival in the midst of madness. It is also the story of a young man who's spark of hope continued to glimmer while the world, as he knew it, crumbled around him.

It is a story we have heard many times, but perhaps never really pondered the ramifications. Woven in the threads of the experience are life's lessons for the world, and each of us.